Undermining one’s self. What the hell does he mean by that?
You know the guy. We all know the guy. He may go by different names, and he may look a little different, but he is always the same guy. He is the guy who is going offshore. He has a very salty looking boat and he tells a lot of stories that he has heard with a far off look in his eye as though he was there. He is constantly busy working and fixing and improving his boat to ready her for going offshore. Yup, he is going to cut the docklines and sail off never to return to live a life on the high seas and in unknown little anchorages where the breeze is gentle and the rum is strong.
When you first meet him you are convinced that he is leaving any day now. After the first year of knowing him, you are convinced that he is leaving next summer, but eventually you realize that he is never leaving. You have had a chance to take a close look at his boat and although he has all of the latest must have items scattered around in boxes and piles, none of it has ever completely been installed. As a matter of fact, most of his boat isn’t ready to sail around the bay let alone go offshore. And yet he is still convincing, and lots of folks still believe him.
I have a belief, and I call it undermining one’s self. We all have dreams and aspirations and goals to achieve, and there are some that succeed in those dreams and goals and there are others who constantly undermine there own course. As soon as they get close to being ready to hit that milestone, all of a sudden there is another must have, or there is one last improvement that needs to be made. They happen to open the latest copy of “Cruising Broke” and see the latest and greatest digital computational electronic toilet paper dispenser that the marketing guru’s have labelled as essential for offshore survival. Now most of us hopefully shrug these off as being silly or not necessary, but some of us fall for these traps and thereby sabotage our own dreams. Now we have one more thingy that we need to save for and one more thingy that needs to be installed and by the time we get around to purchasing it, another latest and greatest and better thingy is already on the market and there goes the cycle again and we still haven’t finished the first one. And then sadly the inevitable happens, and the guy suffers a major health issue and now he can not go. And he is bitter. He is bitter with himself that he created those barriers and he prevented himself from achieving his dreams.
I truly believe that some of us are inclined to follow this pattern as a subconscious reason to not have to make the final cut of the docklines. Perhaps we are too scared of the unknown. Perhaps we are too scared of the loss of income or the loneliness or the danger or a million other reasons and we thereby create and impose our own barriers to achieving our goals.
I have fallen into this trap before and I am always conscious of falling back there again. It is scary. There are a lot of reasons to not continue fighting for our dreams. And yet all of us refuse to consciously admit that we are creating our own walls.
I say when you meet that guy and when you finally realize that he will never allow himself to escape. Stop by and talk to him a little more often. Lend him a hand on his never ending list of repairs. Get to know him a bit and accept that he is still allowed to dream regardless if he will ever allow himself to succeed.
You never know, it could be you some day.
If you have the money, and have decided this is the dream for you, go out today, buy a boat, fit it out and leave. Don’t spend any more time than that. Just do it. If like us you need to take some time in order to accomplish this dream, I will tell you that life has a way of getting in the way, and it is sometimes very difficult to hold on to that dream and maintain the course without falling into the trap of creating your own walls. But when you find yourself being drawn away, fight it and do something, anything, tie a knot, sand a piece of wood, anything to keep you connected to your dream and get a little farther down the road.