I have read a lot of articles about cruising with dogs seeing as how we have two of them, and I am somewhat confused as to what kind of dogs the people who write these articles have. Not what kind as in breed of dog, but what kind as in personality of dog. The kind that would resemble a good afternoon spent with a valium or two or the real kind that most of us have.
Let me back up by introducing you to our two dogs. Firstly we have Ashta.
Ashta is a noble, gorgeous German Shepherd Dog. She is 8 years old and she is absolutely beautiful. Her colouring is perfect, her saddle is just right and her stance is as it should be, before the dog fanatics over exaggerated the slope of the hind end. When we are at the boat, Ashta is the picture of perfect. She commonly can be found surveying her kingdom as she lays on the cabintop guarding her keepers and her lands. Her lands by the way include the entire dock, all of the neighbours boats and typically speaking the parking lot as well.
Secondly, we have Wilson.
Yes, he is named after the Volleyball in the movie Castaway, and he has grown to strike quite the resemblance to his namesake, that is, as he appeared near the end of the movie, dishevelled would be an accurate description. Wilson is 2 years old and he is the comedian of the family. He attempts to be as noble as his big sister, but quite commonly gets things not quite right. An example would be if Ashta is laying on the cabintop and someone dares to intrude upon her kingdom, she has been known on occasion to tell said intruder exactly what it is she is thinking. Upon hearing Ashta begin to bark, Wilson who is usually sound asleep, will jump up to gain a better vantage point and immediately join in on telling off the scoundrels. Unfortunately, most of the time Wilson is pointed in the opposite direction and for all intents and purposes, has no idea what it is he is barking at. But we love him just the same.
So now that you have met our two lovely dogs, let me tell you how it is to be on a boat with two of them.
Hmm where should I start?
Well, remember the last time you were in that peaceful anchorage, sitting in your cockpit enjoying the sunset with a cool drink in hand, and you jumped up to see exactly where the fire truck was coming from? Ya that was probably us! See, German Shepherds are known to be vocal dogs and in all of her glory, Ashta is the most vocal German Shepherd out there! From the moment she gets into the dinghy, which is a whole other story, she begins to howl. It doesn’t matter if you go fast, or if you go slow. If you row or motor, sail or get out and push the dinghy by swimming. No matter what, she will howl. And trust me I know, I have tried everything! Typically we send the kids to shore with the dogs so that we can hide in the cabin cowardly. Ashta is so loud, that we have had people we don’t know, video tape us as we went by, as either they could not believe what they were seeing/hearing or they were determined to have evidence when they reported us, I’m not sure. I have tried making her swim to shore, okay I was so embarrassed I pushed her overboard, but even then, the damn dog manages to howl and bark as she is swimming! Once we finally arrive at shore, she is typically quiet. If you don’t count the barks echoing off of the surrounding mountains. She likes to hear herself, because then she can answer herself. Now I know what you are thinking. He is exaggerating. Well let me tell you I am actually playing it down. You would also think that the return trip from shore back to the boat would be quiet, seeing as how she has played herself out, done her business and is usually cold. Not a chance. Yup, she is just as loud on the way back as she is on the way there!
Now Ashta is approximately 70 pounds in weight, which means that the only person in the family who can lift her is me. I am highly suspect about this but anyway I will continue to believe it for now. What this does mean though is that I am the one who has to lift our noble German Shepherd Dog, who by now is soaking wet, stinks like seaweed and mud, up out of the dinghy, and onto the nice clean deck. Well, nice “was” clean deck. This also means that I am now soaked in a lovely mixture of seaweed, mud, sand, and of course dog hair. Lovely, is all I can say, because by this point, I am usually all ready for bed.
Speaking of doing her business. There is another dark side to cruising with dogs that I have read countless suggestions on how to deal with it, yes, I am going to talk about bodily functions, but I am hear to tell you that everything you have read about training your dog to go on a green piece of indoor/outdoor carpeting, or how bringing the dog to shore is so easy is all a load of bull shit. Okay in this case it isn’t “bull” but you get the point. The truth of the matter is as follows. Dogs like to chase sticks. People like to throw sticks. Dogs like to splash in the water. Dogs also pick up said sticks with their mouths. This means that said dog is picking up said stick in said water, which in our case means salt water. Salt water isn’t really that good for you. I can’t speak from experience of course, but I can speak from observing the affect it has on a dog from what I have witnessed.
So let me play the scenario out for you and you decide if cruising with dogs is the way you want to spend your holidays.
Your beautiful (insert breed) dog has played in the ocean all day. It is getting close to evening and the beach where all of the other cruising families have congregated is the only possible place to land your dinghy. Suddenly, (insert your dogs name) gets that look in their eyes and you know that your life is about to change forever. You jump to action, like any good dog owner does, and jump into the dinghy, frantically trying to beat (insert your dogs name) so as to avoid the inevitable dunking that will occur in the mayhem. You pull the starter on the outboard for dear life, praying that it will start on the first try, (insert your dogs name) eyes are beginning to cross and they are panting like they just ran a marathon. Your partner has contorted themselves into the oddest shape, trying to avoid being seen as they know what is coming. Till death do us part my behind! The engine starts, thank god, you know there is no alternative, for heavens sake man, you don’t want that in your dinghy, but to roar through the anchorage at full throttle while (insert your dogs name) howls prolifically waking even the dead, so that all eyes in the anchorage are upon you. People are yelling “Slow down” but you know you only have seconds so you persist. Your patience are done, you are near shore, you “accidentally” let (insert your dogs name here) jump into the water, and as you kill the engine and lift it out of the water, the dinghy scrapes bottom on the beach and you look over only to discover that (insert your dogs name here) has been unable to hold it, and has contaminated all the water where all the families are playing, with explosive diarrhea!
Yup, everything you read about cruising with dogs is true!
I should tell you about the time she vomited in the cockpit when we were sailing and how I found out when I stepped in it……